How I Got Away With Ditching Class/Transcript


 * Mr. Blahblahblah: All right, welcome class. Today we're gonna be talking about differences of squares. This is not a square, it's a triangle. See this over there? That's a square. Technically..... (as Mr. Blahblahblah keeps talking, Adam gets bored and hears different classroom noises, like a student tapping their pencil, another kid chewing his gum, and a girl taking notes. Soon, Adam starts panting from stress, until...)
 * Adam: I NEED TO POOP!!! (stands up then sits down) Can...uh.. can I go to the restroom?
 * Mr. Blahblahblah: Hmm, I don't know... CAN YOU??? (rimshot)
 * Adam: Class...is boring. I don't think there's anything on this planet more boring than having to sit down, shut up, and do nothing but watch the whiteboard. If you ask me:
 * Viewer: So Adam, if you had to choose between going a month without internet, or having to spend the entire time in jail to watch paint dry, or go to class, what would you do?
 * Adam: I would pick jail paint. I don't really have the attention span to just sit and listen to a teacher for hours at a time, so what I would do is whenever I get bored or anxious, I get up from my seat and ask to go to the bathroom. Now don't get me wrong, education is super importante! That's "important" in Mexican. And I recommend everyone pays attention in class, because the more knowledge you receive, the more creative you can be. So I would only do this if all the teacher was doing was talking and not actually giving us physical classwork, mainly because like it's boring, I can't learn that way, I need to work. So in order to get back into listening mode, I go to the bathroom to basically recharge my brain by either A. y'know actually going to the bathroom, or B. just like taking a breather, and maybe play a game on my phone, I don't know. And it's not like we can go anywhere anyways, because we have like these security guards everywhere. On iddy-biddy golf-carts. And if you got caught by them, detention for like 2 days. I mean, it's not much different than normal class. Y'know, mindlessly staring into the endless void we called the whiteboard. White. Board. Bored? Bored! White!! Hahaha.... They know what they were doing. Now I mainly did the charging thing in only some of my classes, just to be able to take a break and be able to learn properly, but there was one specific class where I couldn't do that because boring factor was of unimaginable heights. That class was algebra 2, Mr. Blahblahblah's class.. I freaking hate math. I can do it, but I hate it. Math itself isn't too boring if you were actually doing physical work and learning in the process, but our teacher didn't teach us like that! His method of teaching was to write down what he writes on the whiteboard, listen to him talk, figure it out for yourselves if you couldn't keep up with his insanely fast writing skills, then I'll be there that he had like the most monotone voice in all of existence. (burps) HAHAHA...jeez. So I got bored and I'm pretty sure every now and then I just flat-out died. Every time I had this class, the pain of just sitting and listening, kicking so hardcore that it got to the point where the last 30 minutes of class, I ask to go to the bathroom and just...wait. I wait for like 25 minutes and then go back, just let the teacher do their thing and assume I'm just constipated. Hahaha.. I wanna note though that my classes were two hours long because my school did like an A and B Day type of thing, so the last 30 minutes we weren't even actually working, just a lot of sitting...and listening. His class got so uncontrollably boring that I ended up making a habit of this. Literally every time I had that class, I stand up. Can I use the restroom? Of course after like two weeks of doing this, my teacher started getting suspicious. So he would always follow up my question with his own question:
 * Mr. Blahblahblah: (sigh) Do you really have to go?
 * Adam: So to combat that, I look him dead in the eye and let him know. If you don't let me leave right now, the janitor is gonna be writing his resignation early due to his job being, I quote, "too much".
 * Mr. Blahblahblah: Gross. Go ahead.
 * Adam: We're coming up on the third week of me doing one of the most generic ditches in all of history and Mr. Blahblahblah was getting annoyed. He doesn't believe me that I'm using the bathroom! Like what the heck, Mr. Blahblah?! How can we make this relationship work if there isn't any trust?? You won't let me go?
 * Mr. Blahblahblah: NO. Adam, I'm sick and tired of you constantly leaving my class to use the restroom. You need to learn. Now sit.
 * Adam: Only thing was that this time, I actually had to go! I don't know what I ate that day, but my tummy was definitely having some rumblies. I'm not gonna lie, I'm more than positive we were gonna have a cleanup on aisle 3 if I didn't go, SO.. Sir, if you don't let me leave right now, the janitor is--
 * Mr. Blahblahblah: Gonna be writing his resignation early and yada yada *pfft!!* You need to sit down right now, young man.
 * Adam: PLEASE!! Uh let me go please, I- I.. This will be the last time I go, I swear, I promise!
 * Mr. Blahblahblah: (sigh) You promise?
 * Adam: YES!!! For the love of all humanity, just let me leave!
 * Mr. Blahblahblah: Fine. Eric, I want you to go with him and make sure he gets to the bathroom.
 * Adam: I really had to go. I'm pretty sure if the teacher told me no, I would've darted out anyways and just risk the suspension, because jeebus, had a good day for my insides. So as we were walking towards, Eric asked me straight up:
 * Eric: Yo dude, you enabling me? You lying? I'm no snitch, I just, just wanna know.
 * Adam: Eric then looks into my cold, dead eye, as I kick open this stall and say, DOES THIS ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?!? (explosion, all that is left is Adam sitting on the toilet and Eric covered in dust. After a few seconds, Eric coughs) We head back to class and Mr. Blahblah asked Eric:
 * Mr. Blahblahblah: So how was the restroom, you two?
 * Adam: And Eric with a horrified look on his face said:
 * Mr. Blahblahblah: Yo, he freaking destroyed that toilet, man.
 * Adam: Eric then explained that I really wasn't lying and that there might be something actually wrong with my stomach. Mr. Blahblahblah looks at me and says:
 * Mr. Blahblahblah: I'm sorry for doubting you, Mr. Adam. If you ever need to use the restroom again, you have permission to just leave.. Quietly.
 * Adam: I was then known as the Toilet Destroyer by that teacher ever since, and I never came clean. Mr. Blahblahblah, if you ever see this, I'm sorry, but for the rest of the school year, I just left to go on my phone or 3DS or whatever. I mean at least I still got a B in your class!! OHHH!!!! It's uh, it's.. whatever, hahaha... I'm a YouTuber now! Yay!!! HAHAHAHA....

End-card

 * Adam: All right, don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe. Comment down below if you had like, y'know, any similar stories. I really love reading your guys' stories, there always fun and entertaining, whenever I'm bored. HAHAHA.. Also don't don't don't skip class! If your stories are similar, just don't skip class, because y'know education's super important and like legit. I think, I think learning a lot.. I- I regret not learning as much as I could because I feel like I could've been a way more creative person, so freaking get your education, kids, and adults, and teens, yeah everyone who's watching! Hahaha.. Also, uh, I really need to tell you guys something for a while. I've been hiding it for about like, two months now, three months. I'm like...y'know, I'll just finally open up and let you guys know. I got a lizard! Hahaha... His name's Doug, and he's cute and adorable, and he's somehow an Akinator. I don't know how, he just is, so.. yeah. All right, don't forget to like that smash button, uh, eat more vegetables, and...stay hydrated.