Let Me Tell You About Billy/Transcript


 * Adam: Billy. Billy, bill, Bill, Bilbo, biLL, BILBB, bilb, baLb, bOOllp, bill, BEEEL..... Billy. You all remember Billy, right? That one kid I DESTROYED when I was running against him for class president. PFFFTT!! Poor kid. Never even stood a chance, ha ha ha ha! I mean I lost, but like...I won.. Don't think about it. Billy..... Where do I begin? Well I guess I could start from the first day I met good ol' Captain Donk himself. It was an average day, a pretty solid day actually. Main reason being I had just got the brand new totally awesome....fat DS! It was the very first model, but it was freaking awesome!! Walking to school, I was thinking about all the fun times I'm gonna be having with this thing and all the great games I was gonna be playing during lunch. And by all the great games, I mean the main menu...because I didn't have any games. I arrived at school and I was ready to start the day! It was as if the Good Sh** Fairy had harpooned me in the face because NOTHING was going to ruin this day for me. I was so happy, so excited, so flabbergasted, so--(OOF) (falls down and sees Billy walking away)
 * Billy: Watch where you're going next time kid.
 * Adam: Kid? We're the same age! Who the- Who the fu- Who the frick does this kid think he is!? He just knocked me over and kept walking! No sorry, no trying to help me up, no anything!! Does he not know who I'm going to be in a couple years!?! A guy who makes cartoons on the internet, that's who!! The funny thing though was that I wasn't even mad. Like I said, NOTHING was going to ruin this day for me. I was way too excited and happy to let something as trivial as this dude's ego get in my way. What- Whatever, it's fine. I still have my DS, that's all I care about right now. I'm gonna show all my friends and then it's gonna be awesome! Wait, if I bring it out in the cafeteria, most likely the teachers will take it away. Hmm, his mom does work in the office. Maybe, maybe during lunch I can just go in there and play it.. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Yep, DS, me and you are gonna have such a good day- (reveals DS practically snapped in half, Spongebob impact sting, Deku face on Adam) Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh....... That soulless monster caused the death of my DS, Mr. Chubbs! I literally just named him two minutes ago, and he just destroyed it!! First impression already! I HATE HIM!! Actually, wait, no, I don't hate him. "Hate" is a strong word, I shouldn't use that word. I should probably use an even STRONGER word because you have no idea the amount of distaste I had for this abomination! The only upside is that my mom did make sure to get a warranty so after school I was able to get a replacement. A couple days go by and I'm now sitting in class, STILL thinking of the kid who brutally murdered Mr. Chubbs the first! I couldn't get over it!! Till this day, I have not gotten over it! I- Hahaha... I need to get a life. Uh, I don't understand, how could somebody be that evil?? It just- Just doesn't make any sense! People suck. I don't know who that spoiled avocado was, but I will get my revenge. And by revenge, I mean I'll tell him that his stupid face...looks POOPY!! Yeah, that'll show him. I didn't realize as I was having my in-head monologue, but I was also not paying attention whatsoever to what our teaching was saying. He was saying something about how a new kid from another class was joining and blah blah blah, I don't know. And I'll avenge my fallen brethren, for he was my favorite DS that I owned, while I had him, and I..
 * Teacher: ....Adam. Adam! Adam!! Adam!!! ADAM!!!!
 * Adam: Yeah, s-sorry, sorry. I was just contemplating the life.
 * Teacher: Are you able to move your desk a little? We're gonna be having a student sit right here.
 * Adam: Yeah, sure I'm just- I'm just really focused on avenging my fallen comrade. It was- It was a tragic loss. For you see, there was a brutal, vile, and malicious creature that just decided to take his liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiife.
 * Billy: What?
 * Adam: You... You killed my pride and joy!
 * Billy: Well, sucks to suck.
 * Adam: Sucks to suck? Su- SUCKS TO SUCK?!? This raunchy asparagus thinks he can insult me with the knowledge of drawing into one's mouth by contracting the muscles of the lip to make a partial vacuum to do exactly what the definition implies?! How dare he? HOW DARE HE?!? Obviously, I was prepared for this day, I had been waiting for this exact moment!! I was ready to deliver him the blow of a lifetime that he will be crying about for generations! Your face...looks POOPY!!
 * Billy: OK.
 * Adam: (gasps with horrified/horrifying face) He truly is a monster! Not even a flint of sorrow for looking like a backend of a squashed pile of feral rats. So I sat there frustrated as balls, wanting NOTHING to do with this- this- this th-THING! I was defeated. Billy: 1! Adam: 0. School ends and I begin walking home. The entire time I was just angry, sad, and confused. So like puberty....but with more Billy. I felt totally crushed. This dude comes out of nowhere, destroys my property, and then feels absolutely no remorse for his actions. Not even my cleverest frick-insult affected this inhuman. But as I was wallowing my way home I ended seeing someone heading my way in the distance. What- Who- Who is that? It's Billy!! Heading in the same direction as me! OK why is this kid suddenly everywhere I am now?! But then, out of nowhere, I was struck with the idea stick. OW!! What the frick!? Hmm, well I do have this convenient box of tacks in my backpack that I never mentioned in this story. Would be a shame if someone where to say, I don't know, drop them in the path of a certain horrible individual. Now listen, I don't condone violence, revenge, or any form of harm onto others in any way. Mmm, but...
 * Billy: (bike wheel pops) MY BIKE!!!
 * Adam: Hmm hmm, boy did my day get a little better.

End-card

 * Adam: Hey everyone, just wanted to let you know that this video was brought to you by VRV. They definitely helped a lot to make this video possible, so yeah! Thanks. Heh heh.. If you don't know what VRV is, which I mean, get with the times, Grandpa! VRV is made by the team over at Crunchyroll and home to some of your favorite channels, shows, and communities. Channels and shows such as Cartoon Hangover's Bravest Warriors, Cyanide & Happiness, Lastman on Mondo, Crunchyroll, Funimation, and a coup- a couple, a lot more! Heh heh.. You can download the VRV app on all them devices, like dude, what, they're the ones that are show- that are- that are right here, and if you use my link as shown on the screen and in the description below, you get a 30-day ad-free trial of the VRV Combo Pack, which *pfft* only the cooliest of people use this app, so if you wanna be the cooliest, you gotta- you gotta be the VRV- the VRV- the VRViest! It worked in my head. You know who doesn't use this app? Billy, and no one wants to be a Billy. Once you get that combo pack, I recommend you watch Bravest Warriors on Cartoon Hangover. A show created by the people who made Adventure Time, about three dudes and one dudette that warp around the universe defeating bad peeps with the power of their emotions and stuff, wh-which that- which is dope. Heh, or My Hero Academia on Crunchyroll, a show about a dude who works his butt off to become the best hero he could be, and literally the greatest show on planet freaking Earth! I- I fr- I freaking love that show, I can talk about it for hours. Once again, click the link in the description below to get a 30-day ad-free trial of the VRV combo pack and definitely let me know what shows you're watching on the VRV app in the comment section below. I would love to hear some recommendations myself and, uh, conversate and stuff...uh, I'll reply. Heh heh, but yeah, I definitely want to hear some shows that you guys are watching on the VRV app, so- so yeah.. Do- Do that. Well I hope you guys enjoyed that video and don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe. And do- don't worry, this- this isn't the first time I'm gonna be talking about Billy. There's definitely gonna be a Part 2 because (sighs)..... Frick that guy. Heh heh, well, th-th- It's ya boi! Uh, it's ya boi, uh, chicken nuggets... Stay hydrated.