Just my luck.../Transcript


 * Adam: Before this video begins I just wanna quickly shout out the, uh, merch store. It's the best way to support the channel besides just watching, and it's essentially like my version of Patreon except you don't have to pay monthly and you actually get stuff from it that's...good. Anyways, find the link in the description! (climbs out of hole) Whew! Hahaha ahh.. That was a heavy thing to come back from interdimensional time....hell...thing. Y'know, it's not important. What is important is, I wanna let you all know that I am indeed doing.. nah hahaha.. Nah, I'm doing, I'm doing fine, I'm OK. I definitely seem to have worried my comment section a bit, but I wanna let you all know that I'm doing, I'm doing good. I'm A-OK, all right? And I appreciate, I appreciate the worry. I get it, I get it, I get it... I wrote "Help! Oh Well" a while ago in a completely different mindset and... Imma be real with you, I have no regrets. I freaking love that song and, and the music video is beautiful! Everybody who worked on it did an amazing job. Yeah I only pushed you guys to go, go watch it, go listen to it interpret it how you want to interpret it as long as it isn't "Adam hates its fans" because that's wrong. Don't, don't do that. A good friend of mine, Zalinki, shout out to my boy, once put in a cool way that kinda stuck with me when talking about a song he created. That the work of art was this cool little time capsule of how he was feeling in that moment. That's how I feel about my song as well. I like to create things when I'm feeling things such as anger, happiness, anxiety, or even lack of choccy milk. It not only helps me cope but I'm also just a strong believer that the best of content is that of substance created from momentary truth....unless it's racist. Racists can go f*** themselves. I think a lot of my videos are time capsules of some sort, and it's always interesting looking back at my videos and just sort of seeing how my mindset is changed or if it stayed exactly the same. Which either-or isn't bad, kind of like how I still believe that I have the WORST FREAKING LUCK ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET!! For example, the time I had decided to get donuts at 3 in the morning!!! Have you ever tried falling asleep...but then can't? That's me in like once every two weeks, and whenever that happens, I decide to treat myself before I beat myself to my local 24-hour donut shop run by this really sweet old dude I like to call "Big D".... "D" as in like donuts...and his massive d- The other week, I was experiencing one of those days, so I decided to hop in my car and started heading over to see the homey D. Unfortunately for me, on the way thee......absolutely nothing happened and I arrived safely. Thankfully, the universe decided to give me some content because as soon I got there, I walked up to the window where you order, then was met with nothing but complete disappointment..... The donut shop was closed. OH!! Was that not as exciting as you hoped?! (breathes in heavily) Hmph, OK, hold up, give it a moment, because you SEE that wasn't the bad luck part. My bad luck isn't just that of closing stores when I hoped they're open. NO!! No siree! This curse of mind derives from a much deeper hatred from whatever horrible and probably racist deity that is in charge of the fate of our planet because after I had come to the realization that my favorite donut shop was closed, (GARBAGE LUCK) I GOT PUNCHED IN THE FACE!! I straight up got clocked! By some random dude out of nowhere, most likely due to the unruly fate deity being bored and thought it would be funny. Any wise... BUT, that doesn't, that doesn't make it OK. F-freaking asshole! Immediately after, the dude booked it the opposite way and disappeared into the void of darkness that is the L.A. alleyways. Yeah, I have no idea what happened. Look, here's a picture, I'm not, I'm not making this up. Look at my mouth, it's so, so freaked up. There's blood.. and bruise. My theory is, the dude was probably homeless because his punch felt as if it lacked nutrition and he was most likely trying to sneak attack me for my, uh.... donuts, then quickly realized, there were no donuts...and ran away. That's my theory. OK Adam.. What's that? An excuse and proper transition into talking about a dog I found a couple months ago?? Why thank you, cutout of America's pop sensation, CallMeCarson!! You've truly been here for every episode! Hahahahaha! GET THE FUCK OFF MY STAGE. I once had this dog I found on the street a couple months ago. No nametag, no address, no nothing, just was there, so I took him home and, and called him Shorbi! He was this incredibly well-behaved beautiful Siberian husky mix that was so smart that instead of eating your homework, he not only finished it for you, but then eat it while not breaking eye-contact as to teach you the valuable life lesson that not everything is handed to you so easily. Very intelligent dog. ONE DAY... My buddy Dave from Boyinaband hit me up and was like:
 * Dave: Hello chum! It's me, Dave, from Boyinaband! I'm in town! Can I come and visit you? Jolly good show!
 * Adam: And I was like "Bruh... Come over ;3". I had approximately two hours to clean my tiny-ass apartment before he arrived, so...I sat down and played Luigi's Mansion 3 on a Nintendo Switch. An HOUR goes by and I'm like, oh my God! Holy shit!!.. I still have time and continued to play Luigi's Mansion 3 on a Nintendo Switch. 25 MINUTES goes by and Shorbi looks at me with this "HEY! Maybe you should clean your apartment?" type look on his face and I was like "You know what, Shorbi?.. NO." And continued to play Luigi's Mansion 3 on a Nintendo Switch. 10 minutes go by (UHHHHH... DUDE?) and I get a text message from Dave saying:
 * Dave: I'll be there in 25 minutes.
 * Adam: Oh no.. Eh I still have- I jumped off my couch and immediately started cleaning up. I washed the dishes, wiped down my tables, and grabbed all my dirty laundry only to throw that shit in my closet. I had approximately 10 minutes now before Dave got here and I only had one thing left to do...empty the trash bin. I looked Shorbi dead in his luscious baby-blue butter-boy eyes and muttered to him, "You're the man of the house now, son." And left to go take the trash out. Before I left, I turned on the Roomba to vacuum up the joint because oh boy, does Shorbi like to shed? Completing the task of trash throwing, I look at my watch and see that I have finished with seven minutes to spare, SO I rushed back inside to continue playing Luigi's Mansion 3 on a Nintendo- There's s*** everywhere....... WHY IS THERE S*** EVERYWHERE?!?! Turns out...Shorbi wanted to teach me a different valuable life lesson, that lesson being... Don't leave your dog alone for three minutes next to an ongoing Roomba because he might shit and the Roomba might pick it up, causing it to smear literally everywhere in your house!!! I got a text message from Dave:
 * Dave: Five minutes until I'm there.
 * Adam: (hyperventilates heavily) Have you ever broken the speed force? Ha! No?! HA!! Get rekt! HAHA, 'cuz neither had I. For what seemed like the longest 4 minutes of my life, I in complete panic, picked up as much poop as I could using nothing but toilet paper, water, a sponge, and probably sprayed Febreze into the air to melt the polar caps. With one minute to spare (F*CK F*CK F*CK) Dave arrives....and I pretend like nothing happened.
 * Dave: HA!! Bloody nice place you got here! Smells nice!! You got any crumpets?? Nom nom nom nom nom nom......
 * Adam: Heh heh, if you see Dave, tell him nothing happened. Haha.. A couple days later, I found Shorbi's owners and he got his little happily ever after, after making MINE a little...living hell. Anyways, he was a good dog, I like him. Now you might be thinking to yourself:
 * Viewer: Nah, Adam, you're right, you have crappy luck!!
 * Adam: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Huhuhuhuhu..... Hu.. Hu... THAT'S NOT EVEN THE WORST STORY. A couple months ago, I was invited by my buddy Jameson to go hang out with our friends Jordan A.K.A. ThePivotsXXD and Kelsey A.K.A. AntiDarkHeart A.K.A. my wonderful background artist. I replied, "Aye! What we doing?" And he replied back:
 * Jameson: We wanna watch depressed animals doing depressed animal things. (pause)
 * Adam: So we went to the zoo. There is one thing on this planet that I enjoy looking at the most and that is....overly-sized lizards that can devour me in one second if they wanted to, the Komodo Dragon. Komodo Dragons are like just so freaking cool, uh, like they have the word "dragon" in their name. If that doesn't get you hot and bothered, I don't know what will. Haha.. Anyways, it was the only thing I wanted to see, but OF COURSE!!!! Jameson, Jordan, and Kelsey all wanted to see EVERYTHING ELSE BEFORE IT!!! We spent more time trying to find the bathroom than we did trying to see my wonderful Dragons of Komodo! Took us about an hour into the zoo until we finally stumbled upon a sign that told us where they were, and oh man!! My heart was skipping a beat. The anticipation was growing, and I couldn't help but feel so much joy as I was going to feast my eyes upon such beautiful wonderous and majestic creatures- It's closed...... LADDDDDDIEESSSSSS, MEH NAAAAAACHOOOOOOS!!! WHY IS IT CLOSED?!? It was closed! It was the only exhibit closed. The one thing I wanted to see.... Just my luck... Gotta love this incredible curse of mine, heh heh, with such comedic timing. Nah, but to be honest, I had a fun time regardless. Also, I didn't write an end to this set.